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Medical Jokes

500 Jokes on 50 Pages
  • Health Insurance
    An elderly man is on the operating table awaiting surgery. He has insisted that his son, a renowned surgeon, perform the operation. As he is about to receive the anesthesia, the old man asks to speak
  • Nice Big Breaths
    A girl with a lisp goes to the doctor to have her cold treated. The doctor lifts up her top to listen to her chest and says, "nice big breaths." The girl replies, "yeth and I'm only 14."
  • Take With Food
    A man was suffering from impotence, so he went to see a specialist. The doctor gave him a prescription that he was to take faithfully three times a day, and always with food. A couple of days later,
  • Invisible Man
    The psychiatrist's secretary walks into his study and says, "Mr. Matthews is in the waiting room asking to see you again. This time he claims he's invisible." Without hesitation, the psychiatrist rep
  • Clean Bill of Health
    The nurse rushed into the doctor's office. "Dr. Campbell!" she yelled, "you just gave Mr. Brewer a clean bill of health and ... and he dropped dead right outside the door!" The doctor jumped to his
  • Toothache
    A man has a toothache, so he goes to see his dentist. After examining the tooth, the dentist tells the man he is going to have to give him an injection for the pain. The man says, "No way! I don't w
  • Broke?
    I went into the doctors the other day and saw the doctor examining a patient. the patient said, 'I have a serious problem with my arm, look' the arm lifted slightly and said, 'give me a tenner\
  • Four stages
    The four stages of getting sick: ill,pill,bill,will. ---shashidhar desai
  • Funeral Thoughts
    A cardiac specialist died and at his funeral the coffin was placed in front of a huge mock up of a heart made up of flowers. When the pastor finished with the sermon and eulogy, and after everyone sai
  • Good news - Bad news
    This guy isn't feeling good so he goes and gets a check-up. The doctor calls him back in and tells him he has nothing but bad news. \" You're terminal, buddy\", he says. \"Won't be long, either\".
500 Jokes, Page 1 of 50
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