only Thoughts and under
Thoughts Jokes
99 Jokes on 10 Pages
- Rules of attractionThe less attractive you are, the more intelligent you had better be.
- Toast and CatsToast always lands butter-side down. And cats always land on their feet. What would happen if you spread butter on a cat's back and dropped it out of a window?
- If it's zero degrees outsideIf it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be? Since Americans throw rice at weddings, do Asians throw hamburgers? Why are they
- Why isn't "palindrome" spelled theWhy isn't "palindrome" spelled the same way backwards? Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo?
- I believe for every dropI believe for every drop of rain that falls, a flower grows. And a foundation leaks and a ball game gets rained out and a car rusts and... If you don't like my driving, don't call anyone. Just take
- Why Isn't there mouse-flavored catWhy Isn't there mouse-flavored cat food? Eat right. Stay fit. Die anyway. The things that come to those that wait may be the things left by those who got there first. Give a man a fish and h
- When two airplanes almost collideWhen two airplanes almost collide why do they call it a near miss?? It sounds like a near hit to me!! Do fish get cramps after eating? Whatever happened to preparations A through G? If oli
- Ever wonder what you callEver wonder what you call a pocket calculator in a nudist camp? If you jogged backward . . .would you gain weight? Being rich and it don't mean so much . Just look at Henry Ford, all those milli
- If a parsley farmer isIf a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages? Would a fly without wings be called a walk? If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, does it make a sound? A single fact can spoil a
- If at first you don'tIf at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you. The pen is mightier than the sword -- if the sword is very small and the pen is real sharp. If you throw a cat out a car window, does it