only Situations and under
Situations Jokes
361 Jokes on 37 Pages
- Martha Stewart Holiday CalendarDecember 1 Blanch carcass from Thanksgiving turkey. Apply gold leaf, turn upside down and use as a sleigh to hold Christmas Cards. December 2 Have Mormon Tabernacle Choir record outgoing Christmas
- Directions for making fruitcake.How to make a fruitcake!: --------------------------------- 1 C water 1 C sugar 4 large eggs 2 C dried fruit 1 tsp. baking soda 1 tsp. salt 1 C brown sugar Lemon juice Nuts 1 FULL bottle
- How the Angel got on the tree!One particular Christmas season a long time ago, Santa was getting ready for his annual trip ... but there were problems everywhere. Four of his elves got sick, and the trainee elves did not produce
- Santa and the Blonde!One Christmas Eve, Santa Claus comes down the chimney and is startled by a beautiful 19 year old blonde. She asks "Santa, will you stay with me?" Santa says, "Ho Ho Ho I gotta go, gotta go! I gott
- Nite before Xmas - Net Style!'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the Net, There were hacker's a surfing. Nerds? Yeah, you bet. The e-mails were stacked by the modem with care, In hopes that St. Nicholas soon wou
- Your very first time!It's your first time. As you lie back your muscles tighten. You put him off for a while searching for an excuse, but he refuses to be swayed as he approaches you. He asks if you're afraid, and you
- Long list of annoyances!*** Things that can and do bother the "normal" person. *** Having to try on a pair of sunglasses with that stupid little plastic thingy in the middle of them. The person behind you in the superm
- 4 new fathers.Four expectant fathers were in a Minneapolis hospital waiting room while their wives were in labor. The nurse arrived and proudly announced to the first man, "Congratulations, sir. You're the father o
- Sure signs that you\'re broke!Sure signs that you're broke! 1. American Express calls and says: "Leave home without it!" 2. Your idea of a 7-course meal is taking a deep breath outside a restaurant. 3. You're formulating a pl
- New rules for dieting!New rules for dieting! 1. If no one sees you eat it, it has no calories. 2. If you drink a diet soda with candy, they cancel each other out. 3. When eating with someone else, calories d