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Festival Jokes
18 Jokes on 2 Pages
- There goes another onePat and Mick landed themselves a job at a sawmill. Just before morning tea Pat yelled: "Mick! I lost me finger!" "Have you now?" says Mick. "And how did you do it?" "I just touched this big spinning t
- Your New Year ResolutionAre you sick of making the same resolutions year after year and yet you never keep them? Here are some resolutions that you can actually accomplish! Enjoy! :-)10. Read less. 9. I want to gain weight.
- Office Worker ResolutionRESOLUTION #1: 1999: I will read at least 20 good books a year. 2000: I will read at least 10 books a year. 2001: I will read 5 books a year. 2002: I will finish The Pelican Brief 2003: I will read so
- Cookie the Cat's Resolutions5. I will not demand to get out the minute after I come in ? and visa versa. 4. I will not scratch wallpaper, curtains, furniture, clothing or my scratch pad.3. I will not annoy the dog next door (unl
- New Year Resolutions for Pets15. I will not eat other animals' poop. 14. I will not lick my human's face after eating animal poop.13. I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under the coffee table. 12. My head
- New Year Nerd ResolutionsNEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS YOU WON'TBE ABLE TO KEEP IF YOU'RE A NERD 16. I resolve... I resolve to... I resolve to, uh... I resolve to, uh, get my, er... I resolve to, uh, get my, er, off-line work done, to
- Things proven to change the course of Thanksgiving1. During the middle of the meal, turn to mom and say, "See mom, I told you they wouldn't notice that the turkey was four months past its expiration date. You were worried for nothing."2. When everyon
- Thanksgiving dinner prepared by kidsA Thanksgiving Cookbookby Mrs. Geraghty's Kindergarten ClassNOTE: Mrs. Geraghty will not be reponsible for medical bills resulting from use of her cookbook.Ivette - Banana PieYou buy some bananas and
- A man forgot to buy turkey for ThanksgivingIt's the day before Thanksgiving, and the butcher is just locking up when a man begins pounding on the front door."Please let me in," says the man desperately. "I forgot to buy a turkey, and my wife w
- The football-playing turkeyThe pro football team had just finished their daily practice session when a large turkey came strutting onto the field. While the players gazed in amazement, the turkey walked up to the head coach and