only Holidays and under

Holidays Jokes - 2

250 Jokes on 25 Pages
  • A Microsoft Christmas
    NORTH POLE (API) - MICROSOFT announced an agreement with Santa Claus Industries to acquire Christmas at a press conference held via satellite from Santa's summer estate somewhere in the southern hemis
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  • Politically Correct Santa
    'Twas the night before Christmas and Santa's a wreck...How to live in a world that's politically correct?His workers no longer would answer to "Elves","Vertically Challenged" they were calling themsel
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  • On the Twelve Days of Christmas, My True Love Gave to Me . . .
    December 14, 2003Dearest Dave,I went to the door today, and the postman delivered a partridge in a pear tree. This was a delightful gift! I couldn't have been more surprised or pleased darling!With tr
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  • A Martha Stewart Christmas
    Dear Santa:I rarely ask for much. This year is no exception. I don't need diamond earrings, handy slicer-dicers or comfy slippers. I only want one little thing, and I want it deeply.I want to slap Mar
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  • Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer
    A Russian couple was walking down the street in St. Petersburg the other night, when the man felt a drop hit his nose. "I think it's raining," he said to his wife."No, that felt more like snow to me,"
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  • Signs You've Had Too Much Holiday Cheer
    1. You strike a match and light your nose. 2. You take off your shoes and wade in the potato salad. 3. You hear a duck quacking and it's you. 4. You tell your best joke to the rubber plant. 5. You ref
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  • Did Santa Give You That Present?
    On Christmas morning a cop on horseback is sitting at a traffic light, and next to him is a kid on his shiny new bike.The cop says to the kid, "Nice bike you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?"Th
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  • Enter the Pearly Gates
    Three men die in a car accident Christmas Eve. They all find themselves at the pearly gates waiting to enter Heaven. On entering they must present something relating or associated with Christmas.The f
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  • Lost X Files Christmas episode
    Mulder: We're too late. It's already been here.Scully: Mulder, I hope you know what you are doing.Mulder: Look, Scully, just like the other homes: Douglas fir, truncated, mounted, transformed into som
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  • Twenty ways to confuse Santa Claus
    1. Instead of milk and cookies, leave him a salad, and a note explaining that you think he could stand to lose a few pounds.2. While he's in the house, go find his sleigh and write him a speeding tick
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250 Jokes, Page 2 of 25
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